<-here comes the snap on tool truck dropping off guys in cabo.

what a trip. drake, ace and i went to cabo san lucas (thats in mexico for you canadians). its a good thing that we took pictures otherwise we wouldn't even remember being their. this vacate was mos def one of the better ones.

we did get offered weed and blow about 76 different times. we heard 50 peso about 183 times. go showty. we drank about 6,302 coronas, almost got in about 8 fights. coronas were 10 bucks fer 20. we went through close to 8 cases for the 3 of us during the days. then at nights we went to el [squid rileys 323 different times] .

don't [forget your car]. i lost a lot of merchandise down in cabo. i think i'm short like 2 pairs of sandels, a peso, and my [speedo]. i do remember hanging out with these [guys] and girls. all the guys are from chico and the ladies from asu. number 1 and 2 party school.

so i guess you might want to see a few pics. [heres monday and tuesday]. theres more on the way. i'm just to lazy to do the rest.

drizunk | beerorsex | drunkatcollege | therut | collegeslackers

yo soy el negrad out!

so after a 9 horas delay in the el oakland airporto we el finally made it to los cabos for our week long spring break of el funo and la fornicationa. i would have to say, and i am pretty sure that senor drew and senora drake would agree, that this was one of the best el vacations ever. el firsto of allo el mexico has some el fucked upo dinero (for you el ass clowns that dont speak espanol, thats whato they el callo their moneo). it seriously took me all week to el figure this el crapo outo. secondly, you cant el walko downo el streeto withouto some dirtio asso guyo el asking “weed…blow?” one of the days while we were el walking downo the beacho, jos’a’ and jos’b’ offered us a kilo. el whato the hello is thato all abooto? that’s enough of thato el crapo.

what up wall-face?

so one of the craziest things that occurred in cabo happened to myself and two other fellow chico state drunkards. we were muy buracho at like 5 a.m and we were hungry as fizzle. mmmm….tacos. so we take some shady taxi to some hollowed out building where they were serving tacos. we were the only gringos in the damn place. well anyways, there is this table full of drunk mexi’s, and supposedly they had just stolen a car and hit a pedestrian or mule, i cant remember, during the getaway. well the federalis show up, and one of the drunks starts to fight one of the federalis, so the federali clubs him til he is knocked out. then the rest of his buddies get taken out, and beaten on the street. here we are, three gringos, far away from our hotel, and there is aboot to be a riot. everything turned out ok, but thank god we live in the u.s. cause im sure my drunk ass would have permanent bruised and bumps on my face from the cops. el negrad outo!

asu girls, [holla back]

so we met these [mormons] at our hotel pool, they were hot, well most of them were hot. we had been checkin them out all week. they had got taken a booze cruise and were drunk as fizzle, and abviously horny, cause they started to make out with eachother. ummm…ya…i didn’t know whether to watch or jab my eyes out with a bottle of sunscreen. i didn’t know mormons were supposed to do that.

quote of the year:
“ my ass is so tight, i eat coal, and shit a diamond.” – scuba steve (aka mathew by some local girl (aka his wife)).

in later posts by yours truly, you will hear about the canadian school teacher, cardboard box jumping, and hooking up with locals.

the countdown begins: 356 days til next spring break!

wondering what the strange miscellanous itch is on your growing area ever since you went to spring break. [ask ace]

ace bought a new thong for cabo

finally people. drake is here. yes, i am in an airport
with drew and ace waiting for our plane to get its wing reatached so we can head to cabo. i almost just got arrested for sleeping in the airport bar. so i stroll on into the bathroom here at the bar in the terminal and im takin piss in the urinal. this guy comes up and takes his piss right next to me when there is six other unoccupied urinalic facilities next to me. lets get it straight for anybody who doesnt know.

unspoken unrinal etiquete:

1. never, i mean never pull your drawes down past your knees

2. the "always use every other" rule. ex #1 lets say there is six urinals. if position 1 is occupied, position 3,4,5 and 6 are fair game. not posish 2. if 1 and 3 are busy, 5 and 6 are your only options. if you ever encounter the near impossible 1,3,5 combo, the only thing to do is to resort to the stalls. never piss next to someone if there is a more then two urinals free that are next to eachother.

3. aim high cause if you hit the cake it sprinkles on your toes

4. never make eye contact while pissing ( o)(o )

4.5 no wandering eyes

5. wheres my bri-toe?

6. never shake hands in the restroom

7. and remember, shaking it more than twice is playing with it.

so next time you assbags walk in and piss next to me, im gonna sinch it off and drop a duke on your shoes.

cabo? are we there yet?

 

drake after "a "beer

dear boys and girls,

today has been a long day. i mean that because i've been awake for the last 26 hours and counting. that crack really werks.

did you know that its illegal to sleep in a bar in california. the trick ass bar wench yelled at drake for putting his head down.

i went down to [l.a.] to visit some friends and and drove back today at 1am to make our 10am flight. i drove 5.5 hours to oakland to make it their by 7am with no sleep. the flight was delayed 8 hours because of mechanical difficulties. thats always a good thing. they said something about the continium transfunctionair, but i didn't catch the whole thing.

<joke> a man and his friend met at the clubhouse and decide to play a round of golf. the man has a little dog with him, and on the first green, when he sinks a 20-feet putt, the little dog starts to yip, stands up on his hind legs and walks around in cirlces. amazed, the friend says "wow, that dog is really talented! what does he do when you miss a putt?" "summersaults," the man says. "summersaults!" the friend exclaims. "thats incredible, how many does he do?" "It all depends on how hard i kick him."</joke>

wheres my burrito?

this is the 2nd post in 2 hours. were stuck here for another 6 hours. its getting CRAZY in harre. we are in the bar right now. just in case you wanted to know. thast my story.

 

Cheerleaders

so supposedly drake, drew, and i were supposedly going to be on our way to cabo this morning, but instead our shitgoose air line decides to delay our damn flight for eight hours. so luckily drew brought his laptop, so we are all doing posts from the airport bar. pretty shitty huh?

have you ever looked around, and noticed how ugly some people are? i am looking around this bar, and there are some damn ugly people. there is a guy who looks like bernie from the movie weekend at bernies. hobo joe is here as well, and he parked his tractor in the 'b' lot.

so drake and i were driving back to the bay last night to stay with my parental units, and we drove by a krispy kreme. for those of you who dont know, this joint is supposed to have the best donuts in the world. i wouldnt know because i dont eat those lard rings. but anyways, this place has a drive-thru window. how lazy can you be to drive thru to get a dozen donuts. at least walk your fat ass into the store to get you colon cloggers. youd at least be able to burn off a bite or two of that donut you fuckin robots. i am also saddened to hear that one of these establishments is being put in in our college town. i can just picture the ever growing asses of all the beautiful sorority sliggities. damn what a shame.

damn those canadians! damn them all...except pamela anderson. boy is she one nice piece of arse? i know from experience. no no no i dont, but this friend of mine, he and her really GOT IT ON weeeweeee! no no they didnt, but you could imagine what it would be like. ya.

so it might be all your lucky days. it seems that since we have so much time on our hands in this airport, drake might actually do his first post. what a gay vulture. while drew and i are out drinking, he is passed out on a couch and drews' been up for 25 hours striaght. now that i think about it, you might be out of luck.

hold on, let me take a sip of my bloody mary...ahhh

random thought...have you ever tasted wheat bread? not with a sandwhich, but i mean really tasted it? one time, take a piece of wheat bread, and let it sit on your tongue. after a short period of time, the bread will become moist. this is when the true flavor of the bountiful wheat will come across your taste buds. the unharnessed tast of sugar...ummmm. wow sometimes i scare myself.

shaddy bartenders. first of all this broad is charging everybody different prices foir the same drink. ssecondly, did you know that you cant sleep in a bar. drake fell asleep in this shitty airport bar, and almost got arrested. stupid bitch.

anyways, i am pretty much reaching for just about anything to write about right now as you can tell. i am bored. are we there yet? oh no thats right, we still have seven hours til we get on the plane.

ok well thats it for me..toodles. if youre bored an in the vacinity of the oakland airport, stop on by and pay us a visit. that would be grand. well be in the bar.

Screensaver girls

dear boys and girls of america-

this is a speacial service announcement from your local government. did you know that 80% of [americans] over the age of 25 are [overweight]. do you think this has anything to do with how lazy americans are? do you know that america is the laziest/fattest country in the world.

so why? i'll tell you why. because everything is made so easy for us we don't even hardly have to wipe our own asses anymore. theres a fast food restaurant crap hole on every corner, theirs disposalable [everything], and not to mention we have a remote for everything.

we even have remotes for our computers now! [micah]. all the information in the whole world is at our fingertips. we don't even have to go to the "library" anymore to copy enclyclopedias, we can just go online and steal it, while drinking a beer. our car seats are heated, our computer desks move up and down by the push of a button, and our chairs adjust to 8,867 different strategic positions. what about the car stereo remote. i have one, do you. what the hell do you need a car stereo remote for. its just another thing to lose. are you to lazy to move your hand off the steering wheel to hit the volume button?

what about the dish washer. this is a funny invention. even though my roomates and i had a dishwasher, the dishes still wern't put in. this one has always been a mystery to me. are you to lazy to rinse your dish off and place it in the dishwasher. it would take a total of 10 seconds to complete the whole task, but instead they are left in the sink until they produce an ordor that makes you cringe everytime you step in the [house].

we know have combo meals, and 99 cent menus. just another way for us to increase our numbers of obesity. yesterdays ground beef - chili at wendy's..mmm mmm. would you like french fries with that, or freedom fries.

the mindless crew, drake, ace and myself are going to be gone for a week. were mobbin' deep to cabo san lucas for spring break. so don't expect any updates for a week or so, but when we get back i'm sure we'll all have stories about the weeks events. and lots of pictures. i'm actually leaving tommorrow to go down to l.a. to visit some peoples and then off to mexico on sunday. it should be a ragin' time. have a good spring break kids and don't do antying i wouldn't do. laters.

check out spring break pics [from last year].

the [drizunk] crew is at it again.

reader mail

From: dj catatonic <collegeclam@yahoo.com> 
Date: Sun, March 9, 2003 11:46 am 
To: drew@mindlessconformity.com 
Priority: Normal 

Hope you don't mind, but I sorta borrowed your layout
from drew@mindlessconformity.com.
I usually do things by hand on notepad, but i tried
frontpage and got so pissed off at it because it
wouldnt do what i wanted it to do which was basically
make a three column layout 25%, 50%, 25% - but no, i
just felt like smashing the monitor with a hammer.

i plugged ya on my site and when you reply, ill plug
you at the link dump where you should get an extra
100-300+ hits for a few days or so. cool?
[http://www.collegeclam.com]

first off, how did you borrow my layout from drew@mindlessconformity.com (my email address), thats pretty impressived. second, no thats really not cool. everyone has problems building a website and stealing ones kinda gay. i guess i don't have a choice. i haven't seen 'a' hit from your site. second there is no 'thanks to mindlessconformity.com for the layout that i stole. oh well, it wouldn't be the first time people stole shit from me.

ummm...yeah, your going to have to come in on saturday. mmm..kay..great-

yeah, thats right. i'm back in the office once again. where the monotony of a regular 8 hours of staring at your monitor makes you want to shove your pen into your ear canal until you reach your cranium and pull on your spinal cord. staring at a monitor has never been so fun. box.

so what do i do now you ask? actually i help configure the application servers which integrate with the relational databases through the enterprise resource program that our multibillion dollar company uses. siiiiiike. i set up logical volumes and group the physical volumes into logical volumes, them group them using LVM. no wait, i don't do that either. even though i went to school to learn all that shit i just rambled off i'm now i'm actually a janitor at the local highschool. its kinda cool being the janitor though. i mean you get to meet all sorts of cool people. they are all my friends and i they are laughing at me, make them laugh all the time. whatever. and you can't beat the $5.75 an hour that i get either. no one makes that kind of money.

no, i have a very intellectually stimulating job down at the cannery. the cannery is where its at. chlamydia is a soup, i swear. i've seen it now too.

actually this whole post has been one big lie. i do have a job though. go me.

if you have a website and want to trade traffic, hook it up like a tow-truck.

my pc sucks. bill gates and his crappy ass OS is worthless. my mac hasn't crashed since yao ming lent me his computer.